31 Days of Horror: Midnight Meat Train

31daysofhorror-reckoningMidnight Meat Train (2008)

MidnightMeatTrainSynopsis: Leon Kauffman is a photographer trying to capture the dark heart of the city.  On his mission to the dirty underbelly his path crosses with the mysterious and deadly Mahogany, a murderous butcher who soon becomes Leon’s obsession.  As the photographer delves deeper into the torrid history of the subway system, his life crumbles around him and the bodies start piling up.

Killer Scene: Virtually all the kills in this movie are pretty badass, but there is one especially awesome scene on the subway where Mahogany (Vinnie Jones) hits a guy with a mallet so hard his eyeball flies out of his head.  He also hits another guy in the crotch so hard he flies up and hits the ceiling of the subway car.


skulls-35Violence: This is a violent one.  Around 10 people are killed during the course of this slaughterfest, and most of them are killed via violent smashings.  There is a lot of blood, a ton of corpses, and bits of bodies (like teeth, eyes, fingers) generally end up far removed from the rest of it.  Plus, there is a butcher vs butcher fight.  Oh yeah.

skulls-15Sex: There is a pretty rough sex scene that is half hot, half messed up and we’re treated to a glimpse of side boob and then a bit of the full on breast.  Bradley Cooper takes his shirt off for the ladies and there are some nude dead bodies.

skulls-2Scares: There is a jump scare or two and Mahogany is an imposing fellow.  I wouldn’t call the film scary as much as I would call it tense.  When two people go searching through Mahogany’s apartment, its pretty nerve wracking.  The climax of the film goes a bit dark and brings on some scary images.

Final Thoughts: Midnight Meat Train isn’t amazing, but it is an entertaining and brutal film worth a watch.  There is a ton of blood and the violence is pretty off the hook.  Or on the hook.  The meat hook.  If there is a problem, it’s the CGI.  Lots of the blood and violence is done in CGI, which is not only bad looking, but just bad form for a horror film.  Bring the buckets or stay at home, I say.  That withstanding, this flick will make your girlfriend cringe and give you another reason to stay off the subway late at night.

Robert Fure is many things: horror expert, ruggedly handsome man of the world, witty prose composer, and writer of his own biography page. Beneath the bravado is a scared little boy, ready to grow into an awesome man and make lies about a scared little boy inside of him. Wait a minute...

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