31 Days of Horror: Hatchet II

When the calendar page turns to October, we Rejects have only one thought: horror. To celebrate this grandest and darkest of months, we’ll cover one excellent horror film a day for the entirety of the month. That’s 31 Days of Horror and 31 Films perfect for viewing on a dark, chilly, October night. If you, like us, love horror and Halloween, give us a Hell Yeah and keep coming every day this month for a new dose of adrenaline.

Synopsis: Picking up about a frame after the events of the first film, Victory Crowley is still in full effect when it comes to killing people in the swamps of Louisiana. Marybeth manages to narrowly avoid death at the hands of Hatchetface, slipping away back to the Reverend Zombie’s shop looking for answers. Intent on recovering the bodies of her deceased relatives, and getting some revenge, Marybeth teams up with a band of hunters to bring back the head of Crowley. Yeah, that ain’t gonna happen.

Killer Scene: There are a few great kills in the flick that all come out in pretty quick succession. I don’t want to spoil my favorite, so I won’t go into too much detail into any of them. Without giving anything away, I’ll say that when Crowley’s chainsaw comes on-screen, jaws drop. Screw Ash, screw Leatherface – that is a god damn chainsaw.


Violence: There is plenty of the red stuff flying around – literally. Buckets of it just splashing through the air and on walls. Don’t get too attached to anyone you see, or their limbs, as odds are they’re always only a few moments away from having something horrible happen, like getting their skin ripped off or a hatchet shoved in their privates.

Sex: Considering that the film picks up in the middle of the action, there is a surprising amount of nudity. We get to view some ‘found video footage’ from the first film, which includes the Bayou Beavers tapes, so we see a few pairs of boobies and a fully naked girl. There’s also a sex scene thrown in for good measure.

Scares: If you’re jumpy you might get scared and if you’re squeamish you might feel uncomfortable, but unless you live in the middle of the swamp I doubt this movie will keep you up at night shaking. Clapping or vomiting, maybe, depending on your personal preferences.

Final Thoughts: Hatchet II is a continuation of the love letter to 80’s slasher films that Adam Green started three years ago. If you’re looking for depth or intellectual stimulation, you’ll probably want to avoid this column all together. But if you’re looking for a good time, lots of blood, and a celebration of real, practical effects without an ounce of CGI blood, check out Hatchet II unrated in theaters starting today.

The film also played at this year’s Fantastic Fest, and if you’re looking for more mindlessly intelligent coverage of that, click on this block of words right here.

Robert Fure is many things: horror expert, ruggedly handsome man of the world, witty prose composer, and writer of his own biography page. Beneath the bravado is a scared little boy, ready to grow into an awesome man and make lies about a scared little boy inside of him. Wait a minute...

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