12. Boris The Blade in Snatch – Refusing To Die (Pt 1)
In America, we love our Russians like we love our feminine hygiene products: vodka-soaked and terrible for the environment. In movies, a rational and non-violent Russian is that of myth, even more so than one that could actually die.
That’s what makes Boris The Blade the best villainous Russian (despite coming from a British film); he has all the ingredients in place – from muttering to unpredictable ball grabbing to near-invincibility. If Russia were a brand of cereal (I’m thinking “Corn Czechs”) then he’d be the mascot.
11. Stuka in Sin City – “Heeeey!”
Having not read the comics I know very little about this character besides this scene. Whatever his deal is, it apparently involves taking orders from a giant black man while sporting a forehead swastika tattoo – so I’m guessing it’s complicated.
What I do know, however, is that greeting an arrow through the chest the same way you’d greet a friend bringing you a snack is pretty darn awesome. If you’ll sacrifice anything for the sake of a comedic reaction – even if that anything is your lung – then you’ve earned a place here. Not to mention the annoyed groan following the second arrow which delivers a deadly tattoo removal.
10. Lurtz in The Fellowship Of The Ring – Pushing The Sword In Deeper
The Uruk-hai are to Orc what the Super Shredder is to regular Shredder, in fact – neither the Uruk-hai or Super Shredder do a whole lot of anything in their respective films either. Mostly they just grunt.
That said – when Mr. Aragorn impales the leader Lurtz, he definitely proves his scariness when he drags that mother deeper into his torso. It really goes to show that while these Orc fellows mostly spend the films being killed like Stormtroopers, they at least do it with style.
9. The T-800 in Terminator 2 – Thumbs Up!
Okay. Technically no, not a person. Still, just how screwed up do you bet little John Conner is going to be after he watches a man being slowly burned alive while giving the thumbs up? It’s like the machines had a secret plan to try to make him hang himself in his 20s.
Robot or not, no one can stay off this list if they slowly died giving a thumbs up like that, especially when the last ever remaining part of them was – in fact – the thumb.
8. Marv in Sin City – “Is that the best you can do, you pansies?”
Marv takes a lickin’ before he falls down – he’s like Nordberg in The Naked Gun, except Marv doesn’t hurt women (sorry).
At this point in the film, it would be insulting for him not to take a few electric chair jolts to die. After all – Marv is the kind of guy that, Heaven and Hell aside, is going to be greeted into the afterlife with a hearty, “Holy shit!”
7. V in V For Vendetta – “My turn…”
It’s the opposite of what you want to hear from a guy you just pumped like six rounds into. Really any verbalization at that moment is a bad one – anything besides dying is going to vex you for life.
It doesn’t help that he smiles the whole goddamn time either. V is one step away from a mime; all he has to do is talk less and kill just a few more people.
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