15 Non-Festive Films That Are Technically Holiday Movies

5. Prometheus


If it meant seeing Idris Elba act holiday-gitty I’d totally take a snake to the face. Wait, that came out wrong. The point is all the horrific death in this film is pretty much equaled out by this one moment of holiday joy, even if it isn’t particularly cheery. Christmas in space sounds terrible – almost as bad as celebrating it in L.A. – but you make the most of what you got, and this dude’s Charlie Brown tree is a shining example of that.

I wonder if at any point when that guys face was burning off it occurred to him that this is how he is bringing in the New Year. It’s gotta be a weird realization as you’re grappling down the side of alien wreckage toting a psychotic robot head that everyone back home is soaking up champagne while tossing confetti around like a bunch of drunk Rip Taylors at that very same moment. I honestly don’t know which situation is more flattering.

4. The Night Of The Hunter


Leaning… Leaning… safe and secure from all alarms…
Leaning… Leaning… leaning on the everlasting arms…

Forget caroling, I just like to go out at night and sit on people fences singing this.

Technically this film spans a few seasons, but it ends on a Christmas miracle, as in it ends with an old woman shooting a child predator with a shotgun during Christmas time, followed by the subsequent lynching-mobbing of said predator.

While one of the themes of this film seems to be that children “abide and endure” there should probably be a footnote amending the statement to recognize the help of a blunderbuss-toting Superman crone as part of said endurance.

3. American Psycho


Patrick Bateman really is the Grinch if the Grinch were human and unable to psychologically decipher whether or not he actually committed a brutal decapitation of Cindy Lou Who or just fantasized about it. Quick tip – if you’re not sure you’ve killed somebody check under your fingernails for blood; that’s the hardest place to clean that stuff out of.

The whole crazy gets kicked off right around the holidays when Patrick attends a Christmas party with his girlfriend. After that it’s hard to tell how many days pass, but I’d like to think that “Feed me a stray cat” was actually the result of Santa magic bringing an ATM to life, only to find out that ATMs are assholes.

2. Brazil


Terry Gilliam should have his own holiday special, perhaps a remake of Rudolph where Santa Claus ODs on heroin and the elves leave his bloated corpse lying around pretending that he’s still alive. Really when you look at the color scheme in his films, he’s already half way to being festive. Fear and Loathing is like a two-hour Christmas tree.

Brazil does a good job at pointing out just how psychotic we all are, especially during the holiday season. It points out how surreal our traditions really are; a man in a big red suit, huge beard, and fluffy hat doesn’t really stand out in a Terry Gilliam film – so what does that say about us?

1. Psycho


Yeah, dude – this takes place during the holidays. The very beginning text states that the first scene takes place on December 11th, and you can even see a few decorations here and there at the beginning. How festive.

Now here’s a question: had Norman not been caught, how adorable would Christmas have been for that guy? Imagine it! Hot coco by the fire, maybe a tree, mother all donned up in her best dress – possibly even wearing a Santa hat! Can’t you see it? I can just picture Norman sitting at the gingerbread man adorned piano, covering both voices in an epically disturbing duet rendition of O Little Town of Bethlehem. Adorable.

David is a video editor, writer, and movie fanatic. After graduating from Full Sail University he now spends his days in Western Massachusetts working as a freelance article and sketch writer, as well as a comedy workshop moderator for Cracked.com. (Click Here to View David's work on Cracked.com) He enjoys over-analyzing movies, punk rock, and referring to himself in the third person.

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