12 Things We Demand from Batman 3

The Dark Knight

With Iron Man 2 in theaters this weekend, of course Warner Bros wants to steal a little thunder by announcing a far off release date for the third installment of the Batman movie franchise. With the film still two years away, there’s plenty of time for the script to be written and changed, and as a public service we’ve come up with the following list of things that we demand in the third film, for the good of us all.

12.  A Run Time of Less than 3 Hours

I’m getting this out of the way first.  I thought The Dark Knight was too long and it felt long. Now, it wasn’t three hours, but at 2 hours and 32 minutes, the pacing suffered. They should aim for 2:15 in my opinion. You could easily have taken 15 minutes out of TDK without losing anything interesting.

11.  A Nod to the Joker

I don’t think we’ll ever see the Joker in a Nolan or Bale Batman film again (though may I recommend Joseph Gordon Levitt as a replacement for Batman 6?), there could be a subtle nod to Batman’s greatest foe. Trying to recreate the Joker with CGI or using old footage is probably a bad idea, but I’m sure there’s some way.

10.  Robin

As a joke. Robin should never, ever be in the movies, ever. But if there is a sidekick joke in the film, that would be funny and smart and great. Just as long as the joke never gets too serious and we get a pint-sized helper. Because that would suck.

9.  A Costume Redesign

I think it’s a given we’re going to get some slight reworking of the costume, and while I like both versions thus far, I still want to see a a change. Maybe tweak the cowl, make a change to bat symbol, which really fades into the suit in The Dark Knight.

8. Big, Bad Batman

Christian Bale was bulked up significantly more in the first film. His smaller frame was justified in TDK as them wanting to portray a more athletic and fast Batman, but that doesn’t fly with me. Comic book Batman is 210lbs of solid muscle and now that movie Batman is a criminal on the run, he needs to be bulked up to kick some serious ass.

7.  A Female Villain

No, I’m not jockeying for Catwoman. I’m thinking more along the lines of Talia Al Ghul or someone who can be threatening without necessarily challenging Batman to a fist fight. An evil, hot, female mastermind.

6.  Detective Work

Batman is billed as “The World’s Greatest Detective” and it’s time for him to prove it. I’m not talking about using cell phone radar, but actually finding clues and pounding the ground hunting down sources and information.

5.  A No-Name Villain

The DC Universe is gigantic and full of plenty of small-time criminals. I’d love to see the third Batman flick open up with the Caped Crusader laying the smack down on some other thug – Crazy Quilt, anyone?

4.  A Hot Love Interest

Straight up, neither Maggie Gyllenhall or Katie Holmes are that attractive as they appear in the Bat films.  Now that the character is dead we can finally get some smoking hottie in the role. In the comics, Bruce Wayne always has a beautiful woman on his arm and even Batman pulls some hot tail. We need a smoking hottie to grace the screen in part three.

3.  An Arkham Redesign

If you’ve played Arkham Asylum on PS3 or XBox, or you’ve read the similarly titled comic, you know that Arkham is a dark, gloomy, dangerous place.  What we saw in the first film seemed, for the most part, like a regular prison. Nothing too spectacular. So if we go to Arkham again, and maybe see some famous, villainous faces in the cells, it needs to be redesigned Tim Burton style to get that great Gothic look back.

2.  A Cohesive Universe

When it comes to running the movie universes right, Marvel is stomping all over DC. With a bunch of new properties coming to film, from Green Lantern to Green Arrow and Superman already flying around the silver screen, it’s time for the DC Universe to open up and reveal that they’re all one big family. We need references to Metropolis, flying men, and vigilantes. If we don’t want to go right to Superman, they can work in some non-super powered DC heroes, like Green Arrow.

1.  Crime Fighting

Thus far Batman has faced off against Mercenary Secret Society Ninjas bent on destroying Gotham and Joker, an insane-o villain. However, Batman first got into the game to take  down the mob, fight street crime, and clean Gotham up – so what’s he doing to fight regular crime? So far, not much. He needs to set his sights on some small time hoods or big time mafia guys and get away from costume villains for a minute. It’s time for Bats to get serious about crime fighting, not just playing dress-up.

What do you want to see in a third Batman film?

Robert Fure is many things: horror expert, ruggedly handsome man of the world, witty prose composer, and writer of his own biography page. Beneath the bravado is a scared little boy, ready to grow into an awesome man and make lies about a scared little boy inside of him. Wait a minute...

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