11 Things That Didn’t Work in ‘The Dark Knight Rises’

Bane in Dark Knight Rises

Was there any ever doubt that The Dark Knight Rises was going to be one of the most talked about and praised films of the summer? Christopher Nolan‘s trilogy had seemingly secured positive reviews before the release date was here thanks to some zealous fans and people who can’t keep their bat-boners of expectation tucked into their utility belts of rationality.

For The Dark Knight Rises to get a truly negative review it would have had to fail massively as both Batman and Nolan have earned a bit of leeway in the judgement department. Now that the film is screening in front of millions, the general consensus seems to be – it’s good! And then we hushedly whisper “but not great.”

I enjoyed The Dark Knight Rises overall, but if you’re looking for a list of everything that was awesome, look elsewhere. For I come not to praise The Dark Knight Rises, but to bury it. (Yes, that’s Shakespeare in reverse.)

To be succinct, The Dark Knight Rises has moments of brilliance and moments of utter stupidity. Here are some of the most glaring instances of stupidity and things that flat out fell short.

Bane’s Voice

Straight away from the trailers we could tell we were in for a questionable time when Bane spoke and the final film version is somehow seemingly worse. We get a kind of muted, breathy, quasi-Scottish accent as Bane’s eyes stare blankly at us and his comical voice issues out from behind his muffling mask. He speaks very early on in the film and my palm immediately met my face – it’s bad. Far worse than Batman’s growling ever was. I’m not sure what he said 35% of the time.

Blake Knows Who the Batman Is Because…

Bruce Wayne has shown us he can perform when the time arises, whether he’s playing drunk or engaging in the role of womanizing socialite. As we know from the books and films, he’s a master actor who can conceal his identity from everyone. Everyone, it seems, except a young Orphan. Blake (Joseph Gordon Levitt) has an interaction with Bruce Wayne at some point and can tell by the look on the billionaire’s face that he’s actually the Batman.

Uh, what? That’s it? Maybe if he had also coupled that in with some other stuff, like somehow having knowledge of Wayne Industries weaponry or something, but he just looks at him, guesses he Batman, says that to Wayne and Bruce basically goes “Yup.”

Tell It To Me One More Time

There is plenty of exposition in the film, in case you need to go to the bathroom. Alfred will break down why Bane is a threat for you and explain it on a point by point basis. If the twist catches you off guard, no worries, it will be explained to you. Every single detail will be explained to you through words, not images.  The actual ending should not come as any surprise, either, since Alfred also spelled that out, perfectly. In fact, there is very little to misunderstand (save what Bane is saying) because it is all explained to you.

Robert Fure is many things: horror expert, ruggedly handsome man of the world, witty prose composer, and writer of his own biography page. Beneath the bravado is a scared little boy, ready to grow into an awesome man and make lies about a scared little boy inside of him. Wait a minute...

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