Lighten Up, Peter, You’re The Goddamn Spider-Man

After breaking that promise he made to a dying Captain Stacy, it only serves as another reminder of how uncharming this Peter can be. Calling Webb’s take on Peter Parker emo has already become a big joke in the online world, and for good reason. No matter how good Andrew Garfield is in the role, the character could use less brooding.

His bad family life aside, he’s got a pure wish-fulfillment of a girlfriend, looks like Andrew Garfield, and is a frickn’ superhero. That’s not a bad life, if you ask 99% of teenagers, nearly all of whom would trade up their parents for Martin Sheen and Sally Field and a date with Gwen Stacy.

Keep it Simple

There was far too much going on in The Amazing Spider-Man, which made for some fairly weak plotting: Spider-Man’s half-baked origin (who honestly got chills when he said “I’m Spider-Man”?), Doctor Connor’s uneven arc and ensuingly moronic plan, and — possibly the most botched part of the movie — that search for Uncle Ben’s killer.

Peter simply gives up his revenge quest without any rhyme or reason. There was no “I don’t need revenge” or a “I’ll avenge Ben through fighting evil!” realization. Much of the film, like its hero and its villain, has too many missing pieces. Next time around, know that simplicity ain’t such a bad thing.

What do you think the next Spider-Man should do?

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