4. Dinner In Prison in Goodfellas
This scene makes me want to put two in the head of the first person I see in hopes that I’ll get put near this jail cell. Even when this cautionary tale rolls credits this is still the main focus of the film to me. Imagine being held in a room with four wise guys whose only activity is to cook delicious food and sit around drinking wine to Bobby Darin like the wonderful stereotypes that they are. That’s like Disney World right there.
Love the fact that Paulie, the boss, is the prep cook in prison. Watching him meticulously slice garlic is no doubt supposed to show his character’s patience and precision but all that is lost the moment our narrator explains how the garlic liquefies in the pan – after hearing that Paulie is simply a hero. Maybe I’m just a lazy glutton but it’s hard to imagine why any of these guys would want to stay out of prison – sitting around in a bathrobe eating food and drinking booze is the American dream in a nutshell, the end result of any hard work – so enjoy it fellas!
3. The Candy Trolley in Harry Potter And The Sorcerer’s Stone
“Magic candy” is probably the best combination of two words in the English language. It also happens to be my DJ name – but let’s not get into that.
The meaning of this scene is just as satisfying as the content in that it’s the first moment when Harry Potter actually has something good happen to him. Well – kind of. He gets kidnapped out of normal life and told he’s a wizard and is given a bunch of dead parent gold but this is the first time we see him spend it on something pleasurable. It’s the first time we see him relax and enjoy himself as a kid. And it’s also the first time we see the awesome applications of magic. Before this all we see is a bunch of beards flying around, stealing luminance and opening brick walls…and that’s neat…but moving frog candy? That’s magic with real world applications. I know those jellybeans leave much to be desired, but it’s not like anyone’s forcing you to eat them – and plus, they do sound like some sick fun. I’d gladly live in a world where jellybeans are made by sadists in order to have chocolate that tries to escape. It’s a fair exchange.
2. The Cookie in Honey I Shrunk The Kids
Screw light sabers – if there were a fictional device we could have in real life, I vote shrink ray. Cutting something in half with light is cool, but that’s pretty much the end of it – imagine being able to shrink your enemies and forever hold them as hamster prisoners. Think about the many bugs you could have them fight Gladiator-style. Think about the fact that every meal would be a feast, as seen in this brief scene where the kids stumble upon the best cookie in the world. It’s glorious is what it is! Giant morsels of sweet, sweet cookie and cream! Seriously – screw light sabers.
One question though – so…after this first film there is still this problem they keep having with accidentally shrinking or expanding things…while there’s not much to be done for the latter – why can’t our hero Rick Moranis build a tiny control panel to put at the base of the machine? That would be like the first thing I would do if my machine kept accidentally shrinking people. That way you could just take care of it yourself. Seriously, Rick – you’re supposed to be the scientist, not me…I’m just a guy who loves cookies.
1. The Imaginary Dinner in Hook
You know, it’s not that this movie was bad or anything – it’s directed by Spielberg and all that – but honestly it seems like if it weren’t for this one scene this movie would have been long forgotten by now. It has everything you need for a scene to make you starving hungry: a character who himself is badly in need of food, a taunting moment of mock eating as the kids gorge themselves with invisible nourishment, and finally a monumental payoff that not only involves delicious-looking real life food but also Seuss-worthy fun-pudding that can only be described as doughy. You can’t deny that pudding – every inner-child watching that is yearning to have it inside them, or at least being flung at them.
You know I want to say more about this – but in all honesty, I have to go eat something before I freak out. In fact, let’s all go have a snack.