DVDs I Bought This Week!

A wise man once said “It’s not just about seeing Star Wars two weeks before everyone else. You’ve gotta plow through crap like Marie Antoinette and Catwoman as well.” I have the fortune of being able to see all of the films that I want, and find out that they are only worth one viewing (or less) before I would willingly pay for the DVD…and subsequently end up hating myself later. But for every The Whoopee Boys there has to be an Indiana Jones, and because of the great films I am able to put myself further in debt every week.

Hulk Vs.

The Pitch: Hulk versus everyone, awesome.

Why Buy It?: There isn’t much that I can do to hide my fanboy glee for this one. If I could own one comic, it would easily be Hulk #181. Not only is it the first full appearance of Wolverine, but it also features Hulk vs. Wolverine in a berserker brawl. This DVD is a double set though, also featuring Hulk against Thor. These animated films are amazing. I absolutely loved them. The voice acting from Steve “Forever AKA Wolverine” Blum and Fred Tatasciore is pretty much perfection. Marvel fans, there is a lot to love here. A bunch of homages to Wolverine mythos, including Weapon X. Deadpool is absolutely hysterical in H vs. W. Hulk vs. Thor was also very awesome. There is a lot of Banner’s internal struggle in the story, and they pull it off in a big way without becoming cheesy or self indulged. If you consider yourself a comic fanboy, or ever watched the animated series’ from marvel…buy it.

Blu-ray Available: Yes

Vicky Cristina Barcelona

The Pitch: Woody Allen directs a love square…and then there is that kiss.

Why Buy It?: When I said that Woody Allen directs a love square, I mean that there is a truly hard to find love/lust tale to be found between four amazing characters. The cast is flawless, the direction above par and the mood is incendiary. This is just one hot movie, a guy’s dream that can pass off for an easy chick flick. Oh yeah, Scarlett Johansson and Penelope Cruz make out…with their eyes…and then their lips, in a dark room. If it weren’t for some crazily over-used narration, the film would be almost perfect.

Blu-ray Available: Yes

RocknRolla

The Pitch: Sex, Thugs and RocknRoll.

Why Buy It?: I don’t know if I would go straight off the deep end and proclaim, “Guy Ritchie is back!” However, Guy Ritchie is back…not completely unscathed, but back. He put together another badass ensemble cast together for this one. Watch and enjoy as the film’s tagline unfolds before your eyes. A mixture of Snatch and what Smokin’ Aces wanted to be, RocknRolla is gritty and highly entertaining.

Blu-ray Available: Yes

Roman Polanski: Wanted and Desired

The Pitch: Roman Polanski cheats the system, and is still a fugitive.

Why Rent It?: I really don’t understand how someone can cheat the legal system for so long, and not have some type of reciprocation. I understand that extradition is a tricky matter, but the guy was accused of raping a thirteen year old girl. That’s wrong no matter where you call home. I really wanted to see this, and normally I’d buy it, but I’m really afraid that it would just piss me off a whole bunch.

Blu-ray Available: No

Fireproof

The Pitch: Witness the resurrection of…Kirk Cameron?

Why Rent It?: Can I talk of resurrections while referencing a Christian film without being struck down for blasphemy? Eh, I’ve done worse. Seriously though, Kirk Cameron? I guess this Alex Kendrick guy is pretty serious about the big guy upstairs. His films have created quite a following. I have a friend who loved this one, so I’ll check it out for her. I promised.

Blu-ray Available: No

The Rocker

The Pitch: The 40 Year Old Virgin…with drumsticks.

Why Rent It?: This is one of those dime-a-dozen films that don’t really wow me, but I still like to watch them on occasion. I love Rainn Wilson as Dwight Schrute, but not much else. He is quickly falling into the territory of a beloved character, rather than a beloved actor. Funny at moments, but fairly predictable, this one is worth a few bucks and a couple hours.

Blu-ray Available: Yes

Lakeview Terrace

Synopsis: Generic Sam Jackson cop character versus interracial marriage.

Why Avoid It?: Lately, anything with Sam Jackson is kind of an avoid. No thanks. Patrick Wilson could lure me into this one, a mancrush had begun a while ago. Also, as long as I can keep Fantastic Four suppressed behind my worst memories, I love Kerry Washington. This one just doesn’t interest me. Life goes on.

Blu-ray Available: Yes

College

Synopsis: Mindless humor, boobs.

Why Avoid It?: I am taking out a personal vendetta against the careers of those involved in this film. You’re done…all of you. Especially Drake Bell and Andrew Caldwell. You might ask why I’m so uptight about this, but really bad films kind of offend me. There are probably millions of people with far better ideas for film in their heads, and College receives studio funding? On that note, I want to make a film called College Girl #6. It’s about an actress breaking into the business, only to keep getting cast into medial roles that require her to be topless. She tailspins into a life of drugs, sexual promiscuity and self loathing. I guess you could call it autobiographical.

Blu-ray Available: Yes

Pride and Glory

Synopsis: A gritty cop film. Look at how gritty this gritty cop film is.

Why Avoid It?: And so it goes, my mancrush for Edward Norton drives me to see a movie I ended up loathing. It wasn’t necessarily bad, it was just not good. It made a point, much like Righteous Kill, to show just how serious it wanted it be. Like if a film could snarl at you, and show its teeth, it would be this one. Some pretty good performances, but all high points are stifled by the film’s overdone attempt at delivering some grit.

Blu-ray Available: Yes

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DVD's I Bought This Week


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