WTF

This anorexic-thin actress who probably weighs less than Rosie O’Donnell’s head is planning on gaining 20 to 30 pounds for a role in the film adaptation of Mireille Guiliano’s best-selling book, French Women Don’t Get Fat.

Through much of the year, most celebrities stay out of politics. But when an election rolls around, they suddenly mistake their star popularity for public interest in what they have to say about the issues.

Back in my days of doing independent film, it was a badge of honor to get an IMDb listing. Now, it seems that any slob who owns a video camera and has a YouTube account can get listed.

My hope is that Paramount Pictures issues a heartfelt and public apology to obese American everywhere for the thoughtless and derogatory depictions of people with weight issues.

It is not often that I delve into politics on this site. However, after seeing my cheddar-sharp logic that follows, I imagine that John McCain and Barack Obama will stampede to Hollywood to pick up the following running mates.

Kevin Carr rages against vultures jumping on the “Help Shia LaBeouf” bandwagon.

Jennifer Cady is an avid reader of FilmSchoolRejects, is jealous of my success and is currently stalking me.

Unless you’re at The Rocky Horror Picture Show, seeing a movie is not about audience participation. I don’t care what Universal says, you shouldn’t sing your ABBA tunes during Mamma Mia!

I’m not exactly sure why SAG is holding out. A strike would be a pointless effort right now because it would go virtually unnoticed.

Will Smith’s eight-movie $100-million run is by no means insignificant, but it does not necessarily make him the box office phenom of all time.

Valkyrie has been delayed twice, which is never a good sign. Add to this the fact that audiences pretty much laugh at the lead Nazi conspirator sounding like he comes from Syracuse rather than Germany, and the movie is looking to be a disaster.

I have found myself on an email splattercast courtesy of Rajan Zed, a self-proclaimed “prominent Indo-American leader.” Yes, while the Guru Pitka seems to be stalking our illustrious Executive Editor Neil Miller, I’m the target of this Indo-American media hound.

Here’s where I defend Lucas. He’s doing what he wants to do. Period. He can self-finance a $200 million movie and not bat an eye. He is the true embodiment of the independent filmmaker.

It’s not unheard of for world news and politics to cross over into the entertainment industry. But one thing is for certain… when it happens, you can find some celebrity in the middle of the whole thing making an absolute ass out of himself or herself.

I know you might not want to read the negative reviews that say you’re past your prime and should be at home drinking Ensure and watching the Weather Channel. But what about the positive reviews from fanboys like me?

The only people who will be vaguely interested in this movie are the media vultures (like me) who just want to see a good, old fashioned train wreck come October.

Release date or not, unless there’s a solid script and film is running through the camera, I don’t trust any movie’s rumored existence. We’ve been burned before.

I consider myself to be pretty much in tune with pop culture, at least as far a movies go. But just this week, something came out of nowhere and smacked me upside the head. That thing was Twilight and the buzz surrounding this book-turned-movie phenomenon.

Memoirs are reserved for presidents, public figures and celebrities with long, rich careers. They are not to be attributed to a teenage celebrity who hasn’t even settled on a final bra size yet.

I just got back from a relatively short road trip with our illustrious Executive Editor Neil Miller. That meant more than four hours in a car with him and non-stop talk about Iron Man.

Does anyone really think these wacky little displays on YouTube are going to make someone famous? Are you telling me that Afro Ninja is going to star opposite Chuck Norris in an upcoming action flick or Laughing Baby is going to get its own TV show?

Since when has it been considered in good taste – or even mildly acceptable – to whore your kids out at such an early age? This goes beyond crazy stage moms and JonBenet Ramsey’s freakishly inappropriate beauty pageants.

Apparently a group of Hindu leaders are planning on protesting Mike Myers’ upcoming cinematic travesty The Love Guru for its lampooning of their religion. Lila D. Sharma, president of the India Heritage Panel in Chandigarh, India, has said, “Hollywood is trying to make money by laughing at our holy men and in the process creating a stereotype.”

Here’s a quick run-down of the stories I heard this week that touched me, confused me and otherwise caused my head to spin…

So here I was, surfing the net in the wee hours of the morning, and what do I see? Another celebrity making an ass out of herself.

Do we really need an instructional video in the middle of the ceremonies on how Price-Waterhouse counts the ballots? I’ve seen more innovative short films about people puking on YouTube.

Every year when you look at the Oscar slate, there’s bound to be a few things that jump out at you and cause you to ask, “What the f&^k?”

What’s the difference between a blogger and a newspaper critic? The newspaper critic has less readers and sees more movies. No joke…

I’m all hopped up on Heath Ledger news right now, and it’s pissing me off from every angle.

I know I’m stepping into a bear trap with this, but someone has to say it…