Old Ass Movies

Old Ass MoviesArcheologists have recently uncovered that there were movies made before you were born. Every Sunday, we explore one of these unearthed cinematic gems and tell you why you should like it. Whether you’re a classic film fan or looking to expand your horizons, Old Ass Movies is the perfect antidote to your friends who won’t shut up about how great The Dark Knight is.

Updated Every: Sunday

Every Sunday, Film School Rejects presents a film that was made before you were born and tells you why you should like it. This week, Old Ass Movies presents the story of James Cagney turning into a donkey, a jealous king who wants to steal an Indian child, an amateur acting troupe trying to present the story of a wall, and a group of young lovers who need a little help from the woodland narcotics to realize their undying emotions for each other. Plus, as a bonus, little Mickey Rooney cackles like a drunken hyena to no one in particular. It’s Shakespeare, so you know it’s smart.

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Every Sunday, Film School Rejects presents a film that was made before you were born and tells you why you should like it. This week, Old Ass Movies presents the controversial story of how the KKK saved the south and how D.W. Griffith invented every camera trick you love.

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Every  Sunday, Old Ass Movies presents a film that was made before you were born and tells you why you should like it. You probably noticed it’s not Sunday, but we’re taking the opportunity to shine the light on five vintage films that played at this year’s Butt-Numb-a-Thon. I’ve only slept for 8 of the past 48 hours, but the enthusiasm I feel for these films is difficult to numb even in the face of drastic sleep deprivation. I know the talking cartoon elephant sitting next to me would agree. Butt-Numb-A-Thon, the 24-hour movie festival celebrating the birthday of Aint It Cool founder Harry Knowles has been heralded as a Geek Christmas because of how incredible the experience is. My first was 7 years ago when Old Boy, Return of the King and early John Wayne spooky Western Haunted Gold graced the screen. That year is regarded as one of the best years on record, but the vintage choices this year – including a Gene Kelly musical, a classic noir that shaped most modern hitman movies, and an impossible to see Orson Welles flick – were devastating in their complete domination of year’s past.

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Every Sunday, Film School Rejects presents a film that was made before you were born and tells you why you should like it. This week, Old Ass Movies presents the story of a murdered woman loved by everyone, a police detective with a silver leg, and the twists that no one saw coming.

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Every Sunday, Film School Rejects presents a film that was made before you were born and tells you why you should like it. This week, Old Ass Movies presents the story of a rough private investigator who’s more unethical than the scum he tracks down, the mystery woman he picks up on the side of the road, and the explosive ending that had to have inspired Raiders of the Lost Ark. Plus, it’s a perfect film to check out during Noir-vember.

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Every Sunday in October, Old Ass Movies will be teaming with 31 Days of Horror in order to deliver a horror film that was made before you were born and tell you why you should like this. This week, Old Ass Horror presents the story of a man with a camera and a need to film something unusual: the screams and tortured maw of a woman’s face as she’s stabbed to death. Unfortunately, the police just can’t leave him alone to create his masterpiece.

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Every Sunday in October, Old Ass Movies will be teaming with 31 Days of Horror in order to deliver a horror film that was made before you were born and tell you why you should like this. This week, Old Ass Horror presents the story of Dracula as seen through the beautiful, blood-filled eyes of Christopher Lee, Peter Cushing and the entire Hammer Family. Synopsis: Retitled for American consumption as to avoid confusion with Tod Browning’s Dracula, this is a straightforward adaptation of Bram Stoker’s original novel that became the basis for so many movies. Jonathan Harker (John Van Eyssen) is turned into a vampire by the vicious Count Dracula, but when Doctor Van Helsing (Peter Cushing) goes to investigate, he finds the fiend has already fled his castle and is headed to inflict more pain on Jonathan’s family by attacking his fiance.

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Every Sunday in October, Old Ass Movies will be teaming with 31 Days of Horror in order to deliver a horror film that was made before you were born and tell you why you should like this. This week, Old Ass Horror presents the shocking tale of a man who disappears from a train station only to emerge later as a gruesome half-man/half-alligator! The exclamation mark means that you’ve never seen terror like this before! Terror!

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Every Sunday in October, Old Ass Movies will be teaming with 31 Days of Horror in order to deliver a horror film that was made before you were born and tell you why you should like this. This week, Old Ass Horror presents one of the first zombie films ever committed to moving pictures – a horrifying man, a troubled hero, and the constant threat of death at the hands of a living dead puppet. Come along as we open up The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari.

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Every Sunday in September, Film School Rejects will present a musical that was made before you were born and tell you why you should like it. This week, Old Ass Musicals tells the story of a theater man played by James Cagney who takes the immense talent in his troupe and translates that into an impossibly large spectacle that movie-goers will enjoy before a film plays. If nothing else, it tells of a better time when singers and dancers thrilled movie crowds instead of Fill in the Blank quiz games sponsored by Coca Cola where “George Clooney” is always the answer.

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Every Sunday in September, Film School Rejects will present a musical that was made before you were born and tell you why you should like it. This week, Old Ass Musicals breaks the rules to present a story of a flim-flam man selling a small town of stubborn Iowans a boys’ band and selling a particularly blonde, stubborn Iowan on love. You won’t be able to resist the charms of The Music Man.

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Every Sunday in September, Film School Rejects will present a musical that was made before you were born and tell you why you should like it. This week, Old Ass Musicals presents the story of a young Jewish man struggling between his career and his family who revolutionizes Hollywood by speaking to the audience for the first time. It’s Al Jolson as The Jazz Singer.

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Every Sunday in September, Film School Rejects will present a musical that was made before you were born and tell you why you should like it. This week, Old Ass Musicals presents the story of Hollywood at a time of transition, a production in trouble, and a man who foolishly croons in the middle of a downpour. It’s Gene Kelly and Debbie Reynolds in the immortal Singin’ in the Rain.

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Every week, Film School Rejects presents a movie that was made before you were born and tells you why you should like it. This week, Old Ass Movies presents the only film ever blacklisted in the United States. A movie about Mexican-American miners striking for wage equality and safety that foretold the civil rights movement. A movie that has become wildly relevant in the past few years. Our roots go deep in this place.

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Every Sunday, Film School Rejects presents a movie that was made before you were born and tells you why you should like it. This week, Old Ass Movies presents a story of a General, a secret Princess, a farmer’s daughter and two peasants who are traveling through dangerous territory with enough gold to rebuild an empire. This is a simple tale, but it also gave birth to one of the largest pop cultural phenomenon’s in film history. This is Kurosawa’s The Hidden Fortress.

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Every Sunday, Film School Rejects presents a film that was made before you were born and tells you why you should like it. This week, Old Ass Movies presents the story of the most iconic big band leader of all time from his early days of struggle, through his meteoric rise in the charts, all the way to his involvement with the USO in WWII. It’s a (slightly) fictional take on a true story full of trumpet blasts, crisp high hats, and thundering toe taps from a crowd that just can’t get enough of the stuff. Glenn Miller’s story, like maybe all great musicians, starts in a pawn shop.

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Every Sunday, Film School Rejects presents a film that was made before you were born and tells you why you should like it. This week, Old Ass Movies presents the story of a con artist who can handle the cops but can’t handle getting on the wrong side of a mob boss’s temper. Because you want to see Bob Hope dressed like Santa Claus, because you want to see Bob Hope dressed like an old lady, because you value your comedy – you’ll value The Lemon Drop Kid.

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I met Death today. We are playing chess. Antonius Block returns from the Crusades and jumps out of the fighting and into the black plague as the flesh-rotting disease hitches a ride all over the beautiful Swedish countryside. On a rocky beach looking out over the water, a cloaked man approaches, introduces himself as Death, and Block challenges him to a game of chess on the condition that a victory will secure his life.

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Every Sunday, Film School Rejects presents a movie that was made before you were born and tells you why you should like it. This week, Old Ass Movies presents: The Ten Commandments (1956) On July 11th, 1920, the enigmatic Taidje Khan was born on a craggy island in Russia to Mongol parents. He would go on to become a radio announcer in occupied France, a nude model, and the pharaoh that refused to let Moses and his people go. That last job was in Cecil B. DeMille’s larger-than-epic epic about Charlton Heston’s beard and its theological powers to turn staffs into snakes and free a people from bondage by parting the waters of the Red Sea. With powerful eyes that held their own against the seasoned Heston, Khan made for an imposing young co-star as the evil, gold headdress-ed Rameses the Second.

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James Cagney plays George M. Cohan in the story of the man’s life. It spans from his childhood stardom on the Vaudeville circuit through his wild success, downfall, and comeback – featuring the music that made the man a legend. “You’re a Grand Old Flag,” “Over There,” “Give My Regards to Broadway,” and, of course, “Yankee Doodle Dandy.”

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