Boiling Point

Boiling PointLike the Incredible Hulk but with slightly less Gamma Radiation, Robert Fure is a beast whose powers increase exponentially in relation to his anger. Like some sort of frustrated, furious Swiss Clock, every Monday his rage can no longer be contained and he spits vitriol against everything from seat savers in crowded theaters to Hollywood’s retarded releasing schedule. When his Boiling Point has been breached, watch out world, his mouth is filthy and his language hyperbolic.

Updated Every: Monday

Jack the Giant Slayer

While talking my dog on a stroll through Hollywood, my gaze fell upon a sufficiently giant billboard for the upcoming failure that will be Jack the Giant Slayer. Having previously seen a trailer, I knew it to be some sort of live action film, despite the billboard featuring some very cartoony looking giants. Taking them in, I was taken aback by one particular giant – one with a giant, orange, twiggy afro. “That’s silly,” I thought to myself, because that giant looked goddamn silly. A few giants over there was a two-headed fellow, with one head mostly normal and the other looking like it was quite possibly retarded. Seeing these two silly monsters together would have destroyed any hopes I had for the film if I, you know, had any hopes for the film. It reminded me of seeing the poster for The Hobbit, the one that made you think, somewhat accurately, that the film should have been called The Silly Dwarfs. The potent combination got me wondering when the fantasy genre got so goofy.

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Venom Spider-Man 3

Like any comic property that has a million built-in fans, The Amazing Spider-Man 2 is already getting swirled up in the rumor mill. Most recently is the thought that Marc Webb is planning on bringing Venom back to the big screen. The boys over at /Film do a good job collecting what meager evidence there is here. If you don’t feel like clicking over, it goes something like this: Webb tweeted a photo of a locker numbered #14 that looks exactly like a locker numbered #14 from the Ultimate Spider-Man comic books that contained the Venom symbiote. Additionally, Sony seems fairly intent on making a stand-alone Venom movie for some reason, despite never having gotten the character right to begin with. Their thinking is simple. If comic book fans have a soft spot for Venom, why not bring him to the big screen? Sounds great, Sony, but it’ll only work if you don’t ruin him.

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Iron Man 3

It goes without saying these days that one of the highlights of the Super Bowl every year are the big budget, balls to the wall commercials that come out, pimping everything from Doritos to cars to farmers and, of course, the big, upcoming summer movies. It’s a launching pad as big as San Diego Comic-Con – actually, much bigger, since millions are watching, so when you make a Super Bowl commercial, you make it big. The spots cost millions of dollars for just a few seconds – you really have to impress to get your money’s worth. Perhaps the most anticipated movie trailer set to debut during the Super Bowl was from this May’s Iron Man 3. With a release date so close, the film undoubtedly has a lot of film in the can (or digital files in the computer), and while there is no doubt tons of work still to be done, they could probably create a masterful and crazy exciting trailer. So why didn’t they?

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Django Action Figures

I want to tell you a story all about how my life got flipped, turned upside down. It started a couple weeks ago when the awesome collectible manufacturer NECA released a line of Django Unchained action figures. These things were hoss, similar to the ones released for Inglorious Basterds, that is, they were tall, well made, and something an adult could have in his house. Plus, one of them was of James Remar, and how cool would it be to have a James Remar action figure? SUPER COOL. However, I hadn’t yet seen the film. I saw the price on-line: about $40. Not bad, but what if the movie sucked? I am not the biggest Tarantino fan in the world, so I figured I’d wait until after I saw the movie before deciding whether or not to get one. My plan worked perfectly, or rather, it would have, if not for Al Sharpton and other overly sensitive ass-bags who want to ruin everything for everyone that isn’t them.

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The Last Stand

Arnold Schwarzenegger’s full fledged return to the big screen in this weekend’s The Last Stand isn’t triumphant by any measure, but it is a pretty fun action film which is all the more impressive considering the star is 65 years of age. Raking in an estimated and meager $6.3 million three-day total, the film was handily out-grossed by Mama, Zero Dark Thirty, Silver Linings Playbook, Gangster Squad, A HAUNTED HOUSE, Django Unchained, The Hobbit, and man the list just keeps on going. I mean, seriously, did you see that A Haunted House, a movie that likely shouldn’t have even gotten a theatrical release, beat out The Last Stand at the movies? That’s disgraceful. I’m glad to see the success of Mama and many of the other films are Awards Season hold-overs, but this weekend should have been one for Arnold to win. If you’re an action film, I’m here to tell you: you’ve got to see action films in theaters or we’re screwed.

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Tom Cruise Rock of Ages

Tom Cruise is in the entertainment news again, but not for the widely acclaimed and well received action flick Jack Reacher. No, the Hollywood powerhouse is once again being talked about because of his very close association with Scientology. Never a group to pass up a chance to take free shots at someone, headlines from semi-journalists everywhere announce “Tom Cruise to Save Fellow Scientology Members from Aliens Within.”  When I first heard that, I was intrigued of course. I thought maybe Cruise had gone off the deep end, publicly, but no, that’s not the case. What’s happening, in reality, is that Pulitzer-Prize winning author Lawrence Wright is releasing a book entitled “Going Clear: Scientology.” In it, the book will supposedly talk about Cruise’s billion-year contract with Scientology and the process of auditing — essentially stuff South Park has already covered. Cruise has been the butt of many jokes for many years, and it’s gotten old. It’s time to give him a break.

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jjabramsstartrek2

While answering questions about something very few people care about (NBC’s Revolution) writer/director/mystery boxer/producer J.J. Abrams went on the defensive about his secrecy concerning projects. The filmmaker, who has his hands in many, many different pies, has long been known to keep relatively mum about his projects, whether they’re television shows like Lost or the upcoming sequel to Star Trek. Abrams said that it was no fun always having to keep mum on his projects, but ultimately it’s worth it. On the subject, he said “all the work we’re doing is about making this a special experience for the viewer; let’s preserve that as long as we can.” He went on to say that, as a movie fan himself, he doesn’t understand why people are always clamoring for information. While Abrams and I may disagree on the subject of lens flares, on this one we are 100% in agreement.

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boiling-point

If there’s one thing Spike Lee is known for, it’s complaining about racism. Turns out he’s also a sometimes movie director, which I hadn’t realized, what with him being mostly in the news for being an asshole or calling Clint Eastwood a racist. This time he has his sights set on Quentin Tarantino and the upcoming Django Unchained.  Lee blew up Twitter (or at least my Twitter), criticizing the film and his perception that it makes light of slavery and uses it for laughs and entertainment rather than being Amistad 2. Lee said the film was “disrespectful to his ancestors” and called slavery a holocaust via Twitter. His exact words: “American Slavery Was Not A Sergio Leone Spaghetti Western. It Was A Holocaust. My Ancestors Are Slaves. Stolen From Africa. I Will Honor Them.” Wow, seeing Django Unchained must have really gotten under Lee’s skin – or I guess it would have, if he had actually seen it. Yeah, Spike’s diatribe against the film comes from his perception of it, not him having, you know, actually seen it.

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Boiling Point

In the wake of the most recent tragedy in Newton, Connecticut, where a gunman murdered twenty-seven people, many of them children, people look first for answers and second for responsibility. What caused this event and who is to blame? It doesn’t take long for people to point the blame at things they don’t understand: guns, video games, movies. As objects can’t bear responsibility for actions, being inanimate, I’ve always considered this to be a silly, borderline maddening ordeal. When looking to lay blame, we should look for people, not things. But, none the less, in the world of an ever-present, ever-on media, there is bound to be rampant speculation and accusations against the things many of us love. Even some within the system, like Django Unchained star Jamie Foxx, have allowed some blame to be set upon violence in Hollywood films. Does fictional violence cause real world action? Is entertainment to blame for real world tragedy?

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Boiling Point

Yesterday on Twitter a minor spat broke out, as is often the case when people type things on the internet. Participants included our own @FakeRobHunter, FEARNet writer @ScottEWeinberg, Movies.com editor @PeterSHall, and many others who chimed in. What was the topic of the day? The Hobbit and its 48FPS presentation. Firstly, background: As you probably heard or just recently put together from the previous sentence, The Hobbit was filmed in and will be projected at 48 frames per second, which is something new for the big screen, at least on this scale. Movies generally run at 24FPS and have been running at that rate for the last 80 years (give or take). By doubling the frame rate, Peter Jackson hoped to eliminate a blurring effect that happens during quick movement and action at 24FPS, but in doing so, creates an unusual experience, one of super smooth motion that has been described as either looking “realistic” or “like shit.”

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Boiling Point

A week ago, the folks at HitFix said that “according to sources,” Joseph Gordon-Levitt was going to pick up the cape and cowl and assume the mantle of Batman in the planned Justice League film. The legal minds and representatives for JGL pretty quickly pounced on the story, saying that Levitt was not attached to the production, a vague denial at best. If you haven’t seen The Dark Knight Rises you should probably stop reading. To avoid putting any spoilers, no matter how dated, on the front page, I’ll first briefly talk about another section of the HitFix article which put forth an image of Batman showing up at the end of the upcoming Man of Steel film as a segue into the Justice League flick. While that is certainly a possibly and also certainly just one man’s guess at how the new Batman would be revealed, I’d like to throw out there that it is an entirely bad idea. DC should be taking notes from Marvel and with as much as Marvel has done right on the screen, the one big thing they did wrong was Iron Man 2, when they took the focus away from the titular character and used the movie as more of a lead-in and introduction to The Avengers. With these two separate characters, DC would do well to keep them separate until they’re sharing the screen, rather than one just poking his head in. Now then….

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If you logged on to Twitter at all yesterday evening, you were likely bombarded with tweets about Liz & Dick, a Lifetime Original movie that sucked, not to be confused with Lez & Dick, a Showtime Late Night Skinflick. That totally doesn’t exist. As of now. But I’m writing it. Hell, Lifetime was trending, as was the hashtag #lizanddick. What is less than surprising is how badly the film was received, but what has rustled my jimmies is the breadth of the coverage being devoted to it. Is anyone surprised? Does anyone care? Or is this just another chance to ride the easy train?

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I’ve never been accused of being particularly smart with money. For the longest time I thought having an “addictive personality” was a good thing, like people really couldn’t get enough of you, which I thought was applicable, but it turns out the real definition is just as apt. You see, I have always been a collector of things. All sorts of stuff. If I liked it, not only did I want it, but I wanted all of it. Whether it was a complete run of the original GI Joe comics (I ended up with around 130 of the 155), a complete run of The ‘NAM, vending machine toys, or movies, I had to have them. I had to own them. As a born sucker, apparently, I was the perfect target for “Collector’s Editions,” “Special Editions,” and everything else you can call a release to convince someone that it’s part of a larger whole. Sometimes, it was worth it. Sometimes it was really worth it, like getting the Evil Dead films in Book of the Dead format. Awesome. But often, it was just a sham – and things have gotten worse. Much worse. What’s so special about these editions anyway?

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It’d be beating a dead horse to gripe about Hollywood’s reliance on sequels, prequels, and adaptations, but not all is right in the world with the recent release of the trailer for the World War Z adaption from star and producer Brad Pitt. I don’t have a problem with Hollywood bringing books and other previously existing media to the screen – hell, I like it most of the time. It’s cool to see a cinematic translation of something you know and enjoy. Therein lies the rub with the World War Z trailer. It doesn’t appear to be a translation of something people know and enjoy. I say “people” and not myself since I actually found World War Z to be a fairly big disappointment, but that doesn’t mean I wasn’t hoping for an excellent zombie movie, based however it may be on the failed execution of a great premise. It’s not always wise to judge a movie by its trailer, but from our first look it seems Hollywood has screwed the pooch in the most Hollywood way imaginable.

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A strange thing happened when it was announced that Disney had purchased Lucasfilm and was intent on continuing the Star Wars franchise: people forgot how shitty Lucasfilm has been. That’s the only explanation for many of the reactions. Our friends at /Film gathered up some celebrity Twitter responses that seemed to be at best cautiously optimistic, though potentially terrified at what could be coming and for the life of me, I can’t figure out why it’s not all ewoks banging drums and fireworks in the sky before a billion tons of metal rains down on the forest moon of Endor.

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Boiling Point

Dear Creepy Advisory Weirdos, First and foremost I would like to thank you for your willingness to offer advice and commend you on your steadfastness in courting danger everyday by continuing to live in areas most of us consider haunted, damned, or forbidden. Yes, Weirdos, this letter is for you denizens of the Hollywood horror film with all your broken teeth, matted hair, and sour dispositions. I know it can’t be easy being you. After all, the townspeople generally seem to have a strong disdain for your continued residence in the area. They’d rather you move off, or perhaps preferably, fall victim to the unknown horror you’re always warning the new kids about. Your reputation around town is the stuff of legend. Embarrassing, creepy legend. Indeed, you must be made of strong stuff, suffering the slings and looks of your fellow townspeople whenever you’re around and when you’re not, you’re living in squalid shack-conditions out in the wilderness. As bad as things are, weird guy, that’s not the worst of it.

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Boiling Point

Halloween is nearly upon us and for once I’m not railing against the studio system for a lack of horror in theaters. It seems five years of complaining has finally gotten through to them. Just kidding, they don’t listen to me. But October has been a pretty good year for horror in terms of movies actually being in theaters. In wide release this month we’ll have Sinister, Paranormal Activity 4, and Silent Hill: Revelation. Throw in a couple of limited release titles and this feels like at least quadruple the amount of horror films we normally get. And even if you longed for more horror, you’d only have to turn on the TV. Switch the set on, and it’s more horrific than ever! The Walking Dead! American Horror Story: Asylum! AMC’s programming of monster movies! Well heck, what possibly could I be mad at with this quantity? Why, quality, of course.

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Boiling Point

Before we even start one might ask, “Does Tim Burton need defending?” Obviously, he does (or else why would I write this?), and he needs it because the Tim Burton of today is not the Tim Burton we know and love. Or is he? Dun dun dun! Virtually everyone you come across will have a soft spot for his early works like Edward Scissorhands, Batman, and Beetlejuice and many hold a great respect for his work on Ed Wood and Big Fish. But after a series of perceived missteps, it’s as though Burton’s stock with more movie-savvy people has dropped, even as he’s garnered some serious monetary success.

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Boiling Point

There has been a constant war against sequels, prequels, and remakes for a decade now, one draped in the flag of “Originality.” There are no original films anymore, they say, as everything is in someway derivative of something. Indeed, when looking at the top ten films of 2012 thus far, only two (Ted and Brave) can really be called original, while everything else is either a sequel or an adaptation of something else.  Taken 2, despite being a bland affair according to Mr. Hunter, opened strongly at the box office pulling in $50m. Then again, the Disney remake of a short, Frankenweenie, stumbled and was seen, undeservingly, by only a small audience. Despite that stumble it’s pretty safe to say that revisiting properties is still strongly in vogue and probably will be for some quite some time – but is that really a bad thing?

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Boiling Point

Some time ago, not so long that I’ve forgotten, but so long that I can no longer totally remember, I watched a film that was bad. Upon completion of said film, I went with the cliched statement of “I want my money back.” This prompted a response from an acquaintance and colleague who took some exception to this statement, for whatever reason. It was his opinion that asking for one’s money back is somehow offensive to the people making the movie and he asked what I would do if the filmmakers asked for their budget back. Rather than getting into an internet fight over it, I stewed for a bit, but recently decided to get vocal, especially once I realized that the entire business side of making money is actually studios asking for their budget back.

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