Boiling Point: No Love for Horror this October

October Horror: Quarantine

If you ask kids what their favorite Holiday is, they probably say Christmas for selfish reasons, and we get a lot of Christmas movies in December. Ask them their second favorite and it’s probably Halloween, again for selfish candy related reasons. However, at least being greedy on Halloween doesn’t really spit in the face of the point of the holiday. But the point of that ramble is that even though Halloween is awesome and everyone loves it, we don’t get Halloween themed or horror movies in October.

Take 2008 for example, there are only four Halloween themed or scary movies coming out this October. That’s bullshit. And four is stretching. The movies in relatively wide release I’m counting are Quarantine (pictured above) on October 10th, Saw V and Nightmare Before Christmas 3D on October 24th, and The Haunting of Molly Hartley which hits theaters on October 31st. Nightmare barely counts because it’s a re-release and is actually more of a Christmas movie, but we’re stretching here.

Where is the horror? It is one of the most profitable genres of all time, with low production costs, no need for expensive stars, and very high returns. Studios pump out $15 million (or less) horror films that routinely make $20+ million. They’re safe bets. Even terrible movie, like Prom Night (remake) turn profits. Prom Night was made for $20 million and brought in over $40 million domestically. People want to watch horror, why not give it to us? And why not in October when we’re all thinking about horror movies? As soon as I start thinking about October I start thinking about Halloween, monsters, killers, slashers, knives, chainsaws, and nude women being chased through the woods. I mean, come on, let’s celebrate this, make some money off of me. I’m primed to spend! My wallet is open Hollywood and you’re too stupid to do anything about it.

Isn’t this like the most obvious thing ever? This is a season where people buy pumpkin shaped cookies, black plastic kettles they’ll never use again, and strange decorations. We will spend money on anything Halloween related, yet the box office is empty. There is free advertising here, every storefront, every aisle at the Grocery store, Halloween! And yet no horror movies to speak of. How fucking stupid is this?

Maybe I’m the only one popping wood over horror, maybe I’m the only one who wants more horror films in October, but if thats true, I’m a pretty pretty princess. So wake up, Hollywood, and actually use your head for once and give us what we want, when we want it! You know how to do it with Christmas, now do it with Halloween! I’m in a pumpkin smashing mood now and definitely past my bloody boiling point!

Robert Fure is many things: horror expert, ruggedly handsome man of the world, witty prose composer, and writer of his own biography page. Beneath the bravado is a scared little boy, ready to grow into an awesome man and make lies about a scared little boy inside of him. Wait a minute...

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